Meeting the family original
by CSMichaelis
Summary: My first draft of His Butler Meeting the family as per a few requests I received. Sorry about the title, I hadn't called it anything Sebastian rushed into the room, Ciel sat in bed reading his book not bothering to acknowledge his future mate's entrance. "Ciel, are you alright, I just-" Ciel closed his book but didn't turn to Sebastian. "We need to talk"
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Wow, so I got a request for the first draft of my His Butler meeting the family story, so I thought since I was asked nicely and although most of you won't care for it, I'd share it with you. This is how it actually began. I wrote it... what seems like forever ago so I hope you enjoy it

Sebastian rushed through the front door of his estate and was greeted by his butler.

"Welcome back Master, how was your meeting?" Cynna asked politely.

"Where is Ciel?" Sebastian's tone was fearful.

"In your room sir." Without another word Sebastian rushed up the stairs,ignoring Hannah, Luca and Alois who were seated in the living room. He ran through the hall until he arrived at his and Ciel's bedroom door.

The former Earl was sitting up in bed reading quietly,but the expression on his face was unreadable. The older demon knelt down beside the bed.

"Ciel, are you alright, I was told the healer came to see you,what is it, what can I do?" Ciel sighed heavily and closed his book,setting it on the night stand.

"That's right, he just left not long ago. No, I'm not alright. I'm not at all happy."

"What happened, I'm not losing you -"

"Not as far as I know." Ciel replied.

"What did he say the problem is, what can I do to help you get well?"

"You've done too much already, I can't blame you entirely though. There's a stack of papers under my book, you should look at them." Ciel gestured to the night stand.

"I don't understand, didn't he tell you what -"

"I'm pregnant." Ciel said casting his eyes to the floor. Sebastian had mixed emotions. He wanted to be a father and yet to see his Ciel so unhappy about an event that should give even a demon joy,broke his heart.

"I-Ciel-"

"Just don't. I'm not thrilled about this and I'm trying to be okay with it for you. I saw the look in your eyes when your mother mentioned it. Is this what you want,a baby?"

"Ciel,as much as I might want to have a family, how could I possibly force you to be so upset, did you talk to the healer about the common solution?"

"He offered it."

"What was your decision?" Ciel turned his head to his future mate.

"Didn't you hear what I said, I'm pregnant, as in it's happening right now, if I had taken the offer -" Ciel stopped and looked away again.

"Go on." Sebastian pressed.

"I never would have told you about the baby. I couldn't hurt you that way. It would be easier for you not to know if I did that. But I refused because I knew you would want it and I love you that much." Sebastian leaned close and kissed Ciel's head.

"Ciel,you choose what course of action is taken, this decision belongs to you. These papers say that it will be very painful for you to carry this child it only gets worse when -"

"Are you trying to talk me out of it?"

"I'm informing you, have you read this?" Ciel shook his head.

"No. I'm doing this for you,because of everything you've given me. I can't give you my soul, this is all I can do for you. It doesn't matter how painful it is. I just need some time to try to be okay with something living inside me. I'm not used to it. I-"

"You don't want to be a mother, I hear it in your words. I'm sorry, I should have been more-"

"I could've said no. I know you wouldn't have tried to force me into anything, that was my choice as well."

"You would go through the extreme pain of childbirth just for me to feel happiness?"

"Yes." Ciel suddenly rested his hand on his stomach feeling pain shoot through his gasped.

"What is it, are you alright?" Sebastian panicked.

"I don't know, my stomach hurts."

"Lie down, that may help you." Sebastian helped Ciel lie down and pulled the blanket around the young demon.

"Rest quietly now,take some calming breaths, slowly." Sebastian instructed calmly as he scanned the papers for more solutions.

"Ciel, what kind of pain are you feeling right now?" Sebastian asked turning over the paper in his hand.

"It's sharp, it's passing now though."Ciel shifted on the bed uncomfortably.

"I want you to lie still for the next hour or so without moving if you don't absolutely have to."

"What, I can't move, that's lunacy!" Ciel cried.

"It's important for the health of the mother that they be still as the child-"

"Ridiculous." Ciel complained., causing Sebastian to sigh.

'you're going to have a rather difficult nine months if you keep fighting against the healer's instructions my love. It's best for you as well as our child that you try to relax and rest as much as possible. You will aslo need to give up your chocolate habit for the most part. This says that human food is not recommended in large amounts and chocolate which contains certain materials that can cause health problems to a developing demon and can lead to the child being born with a number of ailments which I will spare you the list." Ciel glared angrily at Sebastian.'

"You better appreciate this, it's madness." Ciel complained.

"I appreciate it more than you know, though I admit that it hardly seems fair to you, asking you to give up so much.

"You're damn right it's not fair to me. I have to give up the things that I enjoy, go through nine months of insanity only to end up with-" Ciel stopped suddenly, realizing what he was saying.

"I'm sorry, I was just upset about having to give up my chocolate, you know how I am when I can't have it." He said quietly, Sebastian kissed his head.

"I understand. It's alright Ciel. This is all part of the process, the sudden anger I mean. Would you like me to give you some time alone to rest?"

"Yes. I think I just want to sleep for a while. I really am sorry, I know what this child means to you."

"Ciel, you mean a lot to me as well, please try to keep that in mind." The older demon said before leaving. Ciel groaned in frustration, he didn't know how he would get through the next nine months, it was already too much.


	2. Chapter 2

"Ciel, if you're feeling unwell, we can always put this visit off. They'll understand and quite honestly I'm not looking forward to seeing Mordred and Nephthys I don't want you to push yourself." Sebastian said with concern.

"You promised Ann you would go. She's your mother, it's important to her." Cel said pulling on his black jacket.

"Ciel, wouldn't you rather-"

"What now?" Ciel snapped, shocking Sebastian into silence, without another word, or so much as a glance to Sebastian, the younger demon exited the room and walked the short distance to Hannah's home, knocking on the door, his eyes cast to the ground. The door clicked open and Hannah greeted him warmly.

"Ciel, welcome, would you like to come in and sit down?" He nodded in silence. The female demon stepped aside gesturing him inside. Sebastian watched from the upstairs window. He shook his head.

"My dearest love, have I hurt you so badly that you feel you cannot tell me anything at all, I am still here for you, right in front of you, and yet I am nothing more than a shadow to you these days. As if I'm not there. What could I have done that would make you feel that you couldn't come to me?" he wondered out loud.

"Perhaps it isn't you sir. Master Ciel is going through a lot right now, trying to learn our ways, learning to be what he is expected to be as your mate, being shown what is expected of him as a potential king of hell when the throne is passed to you. Then with all that stress and worry sir, he became pregnant at a very young age. though technically speaking, he is no longer a child in human years, he is still a very young mother. He knows you want the baby that currently rests within him, He wants it for you. Maybe he doesn't want to hurt you anymore than he already has." Cynna placed a comforting hand on his master's shoulder.

"What hurts me the most my friend, is that he is hurting, and he feels he must hide it from me and turn to someone else to comfort him. As his mate,, I should have sat down with him and made sure he knew that no matter what was burdening his heart, I would see him through, whether it be something I have done and I must correct it within myself,or it is someone else or perhaps his own fears. I didn't give him a chance to settle into life as a mate before I pushed a family onto him. I should apologize." Sebastian turned.

"Master, give him time now, he will come to you when he's ready and in a few short hours, you two have the meeting with your mother. give him until then, if he hasn't returned-" Sebastian sighed.

"I don't know what I would do." he said quietly before leaving his butler and getting ready for the evening.

"Alois is upstairs, do you want me to get him for you, you could go up if you like, it's the second door on your right." Hannah said.

"Thank you, I'll go up to see him."

"If you need anything, please let me know." Ciel nodded and began climbing the stairs, photos were hung along the stair case, Alois and Luca, smiling together, The older boy smiling at the camera, his arms wrapped around his younger brother who grinned leaning into Alois. At the top, just before Alois' room, Ciel saw yet another photo, Hannah was kneeling her yard, Alois stood to the side, his arms around her, Luca sat just in front of her, he held out a ball to her, all three grinned happily. A happy family, just as Alois had wanted. The image caused a small amount of guilt in Ciel. Hannah wanted her boys. They deserved to be happy, Ciel on the other hand despised the thing that was sharing his body. The child who had done nothing to deserve the hate and anger from its mother. No, Ciel couldn't call himself that, he was nothing more than a host to the creature. It's only chance to survive.

Ciel knocked on the bedroom door and waited, hid despair growing by the second. finally the door opened and Alois, with a look of curiosity ushered him in.

"What's wrong?" the slightly older boy asked, offering Ciel a seat om the edge of his bed.

"You know about my situation," The dark haired demon began.

"You mean the ba-"

"Don't say it. any mention of it makes me feel irritated, but ironically that's why I'm here. I can tell you things I can't tell Sebastian. I have a limited time, we're supposed to be having some sort of family night. I need to get my frustration out before we leave."

"Alright, but I really don't understand why this is affecting you so badly. it's a tiny being that'll love you forever and want you no matter what." Alois commented.

"It's not something I wanted, had I known at the time that it was a possibility. I wouldn't have allowed it. Sebastian is the only reason I'm doing this. He wants to tell them tonight.I don't know what to do, I can't be happy for him."

"You're good with Luca, maybe you just need time to adjust to it. I think I'd like to know what it feels like someday, having my own family and all."

"I hate it."

"Ciel!" Alois cried in surprise.

"I'm in constant pain, I can't eat properly, I can't sleep, it's so tiring and I just can't do it. I feel terrible for Sebastian, he has to deal with my quick temper and I snapped at him again today, I don't know why. "

"Because you're pregnant, you see it all the time. When my mother was going to have Luca, she used to get so irritated with my father, she would hir him with one of those paper fans. He brought her a small collection from one of his trips, all he had to do was breathe loudly."

"I haven't resorted to violence just yet, but I can't help feeling like I just want it to be over. I never wanted children, even as a human."

"But weren't you engaged?"

"It was arranged, I didn't choose it. I love Elizabeth, but I'm not in love with her. We have sort of an odd relationship, I see her more as a sister I suppose. We were always close when we were small."

"What would you have done if you had married her?"Alois asked curiously.

"The Phantomhive line wold have died with me. I wouldn't continue the bloodline that only brought pain and misfortune . We were cursed, the rumors we obviously true."

"what if she wanted-"

"Then she would've been out of luck, wouldn't she?"

"You're being dramatic. what happened to you wasn't-"

"Now isn't a good time to take the blame for the past, we both know the truth, let it go, Alois."

"All I'm saying is having a baby might not be as bad as it seems. Who knows, you could get used to the idea of being a mother, maybe you could try to think of it as a positive, babies love you, they're adorable, sweet and cuddly and I've never had one personally, but when Luca started talking and walking, I was so proud of my little brother." The blonde demon smiled at the memories.

"So you two were always that close?"

"Yes, from the day he was born, he was very important to me. I loved him the moment my mother told me she would have him. I asked for him you know."

"No, I didn't know."

"It can be the best feeling in the world when someone looks to you for what they need. I always liked it because I was important to someone, I was needed."

"yes, well, he's your brother, you didn't have him. There's a difference. if you had wanted to, you could've given back to your parents and taken a break."

"You can give him or her to Sebastian if you want a break."

"I wouldn't ever take it back. Sometimes I think that the best thing to do for both Sebastian and his child would be for me to move out after it's born. I'll stay close to give Sebastian feedings but I don't want-"

"maybe you're just scared."

"Of what?" Alois shrugged.

"You tell me, maybe you're worried about what happened to you."

"The only thing I'm really worried about right now is...I don't want to hurt Sebastian and I can't be happy for him,I know that's hard on him. I really don;t think I can do it."

"You can. You kept it because of him. You'll be okay. You're a lot stronger than I am, I know you you can do this. You've done so much already. You've made a friendship out of a rivalry, you saved Sebastian's life, won his heart. put him first, I'll just be over here if you want to talk. Try not to let it get you down." Ciel nodded.

"You're right. I should keep in mind why i'm doing this. It's not about me at the moment, I'm not the master anymore. I should just get through this and deal with it until the thing's old enough to handle itself. I could do that, I'll visit with you when I need time away and eventually i'll learn to be content...I hope."

"Worth a try, maybe you won't have to pretend."Alois added.

"Anything's possible I suppose." Ciel said standing up.

"That' right, now all you have to do is stick to it."

"right. Thank you."

"Any time, now go try to have a good time and try not to think about it too much." After Ciel left, Alois' smile faded.

"Poor Ciel." he said quietly before turning to his book, his thoughts were with his friend.

Ciel emerged from Hannah's home feeling slightly more at ease. He stopped in her yard, realizing he was still dressed in the black outfit.

"I think I'd rather wear green today. he thought, instantly the jacket began to change into a dark green. He continued on his way, finding Sebastian waiting for him beside the carriage.

"There you are, I wasn't sure if you would come with me tonight, are you alright?" the older demon asked.

"I think I will be. I just need time, like I said before. we can talk about that later, right now you have a promise to keep and you said your father doesn't like it when his guests are late." Ciel said climbing into the carriage.

"You're sure you're well enough?"

"I'm fine, let's go before I change my mind." The young demon said, Sebastian climbed in beside him. Sebastian had mixed feelings about this evening, but more importantly, he was concerned for his future mate.


	3. Chapter 3

Ciel sighed heavily as they waited for Mordred and his mate to arrive.

"Are you alright Ciel, you don't seem to be feeling very well. What can I do to help you?" Ann asked kindly.

"I'm fine, I'm just tired. I'm sorry Ann." Ciel replied. Sebastian had decided that it would be best for Ciel if he saved the announcement for another day. Ciel was grateful to him for this decision as he wouldn't know how to react when the Queen expressed her own happiness.

"It's alright Dear, I understand. You have a lot going on."Ciel smiled faintly.

Ann wasn't at all what he had expected. She didn't seem demonic at all. Her face was kind and pale, her emerald eyes were soft. She reminded Ciel of his own mother in many ways.

"Mordred is officially late." The King growled drumming his clawed fingers on the arm of his chair. Ann placed a hand on his massive shoulder.

"I know how frustrating this is for you my dear, but please try to be patient, he is our son." Ann soothed.

"Yes, and so is Sebastian, yet here he is, on time. A bit early in fact. That boy needs to be more responsible Rhiannon, he's over a thousand years old, it's high time he learns to follow the same rules as everyone else. When I was his age-"

"I'm sorry Ciel, I know you must be ready to go, had I thought that you would be subjected to this, I would have-"

"It's fine, but I'm not doing this again, I have better things to do that listening to your father complain."

"Of course, I'll do my best to get you home early tonight." Sebastian promised, taking Ciel's hand.

"Are you feeling alright?"

"Mostly I suppose." Ciel replied quietly. Sebastian looked at him skeptically.

"Why don't I believe that?"he asked.

"Because you're over protective." Ciel pulled his hand away from Sebastian.

"Pardon me Your Majesty, my queen, prince Mordred has arrived." A short female demon said softly.

"Send them in Tani." Ann instructed. The servant gave a short bow and exited.

"Now remember my dear, this is family night, be nice." The Queen requested standing to greet her eldest son.

The dark, shadowy figure entered, beside him, Nephthys walked slowly toward the group. Ann held out her arms to her son.

"Mordred, my son, welcome, please both of you come and sit down." She said embracing her son briefly before leading the couple to the group.

"Father, I apologize for being late, the fact is that on the way here, Neph panicked and we had to stop at Geo's store." Mordred said rolling his crimson eyes.

"Tell me Mordred, since when have you ever allowed your mate to take the lead, you are a prince of hell and the dominate figure, you could have easily gotten here on time. Furthermore, to place all the blame on your mate is disgraceful. You were not raised this way. As the dominate mate, it is your duty to care for her and protect her from harm. So far, I've seen you do neither one. You know how I feel about being late and how it angers me, had I ordered your mate punished because of these actions-" The devil growled, only stopping at his mate's touch.

"Be grateful that your mother is everything I am not. It is her gentleness that stops me from turning to the old ways of punishment." Mordred bowed and made took his mother's hand..

"Truly I am grateful Mother, such a gentle soul you are, I wish I could have been more like you." He kissed Ann's cheek and sat down with Nephthys at his side in the empty chairs at the devil's left side.

"Bastian, no greeting for your favorite brother?" he called.

"There would be, if indeed I had one." Mordred shook his head.

"Such a mean little thing." He muttered.

"Do not provoke me tonight Mordred, I'm in no mood for your inability to behave yourself." Sebastian warned.

"I wouldn't dream of it Brother, it would be such a shame for our mother to witness your violent outbursts." Sebastian quickly leaned forward in his seat, glaring at Mordred.

"My outburst, who was it that nearly killed one of the staff simply because he had nothing better to do?"

"You went there did you, tell me, the entree isn't very talkative tonight, what happened brother, did he-"

"Leave my mate out of this Mordred." Sebastian's eyes began to glow dangerously.

"Honestly, I don't know why you just don't give that thing to the gatekeeper, it's of no use to you. I would've done it the second that thing you claim to be your future mate became a demon. He's a waste of-" Sebastian was out of his seat, he lifted his older brother to his feet by his throat and stared deeply into his eyes.

"Say one more thing, look at Ciel in a way I find disrespectful, talk to him, come near him and I will end your life. I don't give a damn what you don't like, who you don't care for or your beliefs. In fact, when Ciel is in the room, or close enough to be seen, cast your eyes to the ground. Do not even let me think you're thinking any thought at all that has anything to do with him. Do you understand me?" Mordred smirked.

"Are you so hell bent on this bondage that you will kill your own brother over a little thing like that?"

"I mean it, this is your one and only warning."

"Sebastian, sweetheart, let go now, you have made your point." Ann said loosening Sebastian's grip on his brother. He stood still watching Mordred closely.

"Mother will not always be able to save you, I know you, one day you will slip and when you do, it will be the very last thing you ever do." Sebastian turned and sat back down next to Ciel. A deep, low growl was barely audible from the youngest prince. Without a word, Ciel reached out to him, taking his hand and giving it a comforting squeeze. Sebastian looked to Ciel and the sounds soon ceased and a faint smile appeared on the demon's face.

"It's alright Sebastian,calm down now, we're here for your mother, not to fight."

"Of course, you're right Ciel,forgive me." Ciel smiled.

"You were protecting me, there isn't really anything to be sorry about other than losing your temper in front of your mother, she doesn't ask us for much, this is important to her. Let's try to get through this." The king and Queen exchanged side glances and smiles.

"My precious Ciel, whatever would I do without you?"Sebastian leaned close,nuzzling the younger demon softly.

"Shall we tell them?" Ann asked leaning back into her mate's arms.

"I think now would be the perfect time." The devil cleared his throat causing Sebastian and Ciel to give him their attention,

"My son, when first you mentioned young Ciel to me, I had my doubts about your relationship and because he is so young, I feared he would not fully understand the commitment of being a mate. I saw the look in his eyes during my questioning, and I see it in you both now. I told you that I reserve the right to refuse your bondage to each other and again I was surprised when you corrected me. You would not refer to your union as a bondage, as Ciel is not your prisoner. To see young Ciel react to you in this way is more than I could have expected. I give my blessing to your marriage and wish you an eternity of joy and strength to overcome any obstacle you may encounter "

"Father, mother, Thank you, It means so much to me to be honored with such an amazing gift." Sebastian said grinning.

"My Ciel is my everything, and I am grateful that you have been open to us. "

"You will take care of each other, through the good and bad times, I see so much of your mother and myself in the two of you. You have found your forever love, hold on to it both of you. Bondage is not something to be taken lightly, just because you accept a proposal, does not at all mean that you should stop trying to keep each other. It is a constant goal to be worked on." the king said.

"You never gave us your blessing,"Mordred complained.

"That is because you have not shown us reason to. You do not understand the meaning You were ready to allow your mate to take the blame for something I know damn well you had control over." The king said angrily.

"So Sebastian's the perfect son, is that what this is father, as I recall, it was not I who ruined your collection of crystal dragons, nor was it I that caught the family tapestry on fire." Mordred shot back.

"no one is perfect Mordred, I may have done those things, all accidentally of course, however, it most certainly was I that broke Mother's favorite statue, which I might add was given to her by our grandmother, a priceless family heirloom out of anger. Shall I continue, I have more." Ciel rolled his eyes.

 _Such children, if this is what it's like to have a brother, I'm so glad I was an only child. I'm adding to this nonsense I must be mad._ Ciel thought. A sharp pain traveled through his abdomen causing him to gasp sharply. Instantly Sebastian was kneeling at his side, his hand stroking Ciel's hair lovingly.

"Ciel, what is it, are you alright?" He asked pulling him into a hug.

"It happened again." Ciel whispered in his ear, resting his head on Sebastian's shoulder.

"Backing down are you baby brother, you're soft." Mordred taunted.

"Say what you will, my Ciel is above all else, whatever I may be doing, He is first priority. You are not even on the list. Do you need to lie down Ciel?" The young demon nodded. Sebastian stood up with his future mate in his arms.

"Mother, Father, I apologize, my Ciel isn't feeling well at the moment. Please excuse us."

"Of course Sebastian, we understand." Ann said gently.

"Take a good look Mordred, Sebastian knows his responsibilities and he looks after his mate, as it should be. As I have cared for your dear mother all these years and will continue to do. Can you say the same?"

"How is that even fair to compare -" Sebastian closed the throne room door behind them, still carrying Ciel.

"Are you feeling better now?" He asked with concern.

"No." Ciel replied gabbing Sebastian's black jacket tightly and burying his face in his mate's chest.

"If you don't feel better soon after we get home, I want you to see the healer, just to be sure everything is alright." Sebastian said exiting the castle and climbing into the carriage. He didn't bother to put Ciel down.

"It really hurts." Ciel said quietly, Sebastian kissed his head.

"I know love, I'll do whatever I can to ease your pain, no matter what it may be, I swear to you that I will take care of you. I love you so much Ciel. I always will." The older demon's heart was breaking as he thought of what that promise might mean. He looked down at Ciel, who was still clinging to him in pain.

"Rest now Ciel, I have you, and I will never let you go." He comforted fully intending to keep his promise, no matter what the cost.


	4. Chapter 4

Ciel pulled the blanket closer and settled himself against his pillows. He had been unable to get out of bed since returning home the night before. His stomach hurt badly he felt worn down and he couldn't seem to stay warm.

Sebastian knelt beside the bed, stroking Ciel's hair softly.

"Are you feeling any better?" The older demon asked.

"No. if anything, I think it's getting worse.,I feel so ill." Sebastian kissed his head.

"I know. I've sent for the healer and he should be here very soon.. I hope you understand that I didn't mean to cause you so much-"

"I know. You don't have to keep saying that. I know you wouldn't purposely hurt me, I don't blame you for this, I didn't stop you, that's my fault. I've been so mean to you lately, you try so hard to make me feel better, I do love you, it's just so much at once. I'm frustrated and ill,I'm sorry." The older demon took Ciel's hand as he continued to run his fingers through his hair.

"You don't have anything to be sorry for, having a baby growing inside you is a difficult thing to deal with, you go through certain changes, you require sleep and experience a great deal of pain. It's all part of becoming a mother, I want you to know that I am here for you. Just tell me what you need, I love you so very much Ciel."Tears were now visible in the young demon's blue eyes.

"I don't know how you can." Ciel said

"How can I not, you are everything I could ever hope for, you can be so loving, you put me before yourself, you love despite the fact that I am a vicious monster, a cruel and terrible creature, but you Ciel, you aught me how to love. You're going to have a baby so I can be happy,, there aren't many who can say their mates have done the same. You are my heart and I could never stop loving you. You're precious to me. Never think differently."Sebastian said softly.

"But you know that I never wanted this child, I don't care much for the idea of being a mother, I can't understand how you can love something like me. I can't even love your child."

"You're upset, it was a shock, I believe you can love the demonling resting within you. You just need time. Sometimes it takes a while to get used to the idea of something new, when all this is over, when you're holding the child, you may feel differently."

"Sebastian?"

"Yes Ciel?" The young demon sighed, it was time to tell his mate yet another difficult truth.

"When I have the baby, I don't want to see it, I don't want to hold it, it should be given to you. I understand that it will need me to eat, I'll do that, but I want you to give it the bottle. I can't be a mother,you should know that now before we get too far into this."

"I appreciate you being honest with me like this. I won't force you to do any of that. But I hope that by the time you are ready to give birth, you'll feel better about it. All I want you to think of at the moment is feeling better. That's what matters right now." Ciel moaned painfully, tightening his grip on Sebastian's hand.

"Easy Love, the healer should be here any time now and he'll know what to do to help you.. I know I've already asked this, but under the circumstances, I must ask again. Are you certain you want to do this, if it hurts you this much and you're only starting, I don't want you to go through it if you really don't want to be a mother. I'll leave the option open to you."

"I don't want to be a mother, that's true. I want you to have a family, you want the baby, you should have the chance to be a father, I won't take that away from you. I-I want you to be happy too." Sebastian leaned forward and kissed him lovingly.

"If you're here, then I am happy. You make me happy, and regardless of whether you give me children or not, I will always love you. I didn't ask you to be my mate so I could force you to have babies. I asked because I want to be with you."

"I want you to be able to have this, and Ann would-"

"Ciel, listen to me very carefully. We don't have to say anything to them, this is your choice, not theirs. I will stand beside you either way."

"I don't want to hurt you. Just because I don't want to be a mother doesn't mean I want something to happen to it. I don't like it, but-" Ciel stopped.

"What is it?"

"What kind of life would it have, a mother who doesn't want it ...I don't know how you'd handle that or what it would do to your child."

"We'll cross that bridge later, our health is what concerns me right now. "

"Pardon me sirs, the healer has arrived." Cynna said showing the guest into the room, Sebastian stood up to greet him.

"Thank you for coming,I've been so worried, and as you know, I'm not one to become concerned easily. I just-"

"My dear prince, that's exactly why I ,made the time to come today. It was clear when we spoke on the phone that you were worried about your mate. Please, try to stay calm for him. May I?" The healer motioned to the bed.

"yes, of course. Do be gentle, he's been in considerable pain."

"I will be as gentle as possible." He walked over to Ciel, Sebastian following closely.

"Ciel, I understand you've been having quite a lot of pain, you stayed in bed today because of it?"

"That's part of it, I just didn't have have the energy to pull myself out of bed. I've been so bloody tired and I can't seem to get over it no matter how long I sleep."

"I see, and have you been eating normally?" The healer asked beginning to empty is medical bag.

"I've been trying, I can only take a small amount at a time. Most of the time I only eat because I have to for the child, I'm not even hungry when I try." Mostly I've been ill and in pain. "

"You're not the least bit hungry when you eat?" The healer asked in surprise.

"No." Ciel replied.

"These pains, how would you describe them?"

"Sharp, very sharp." The healer placed his stethoscope and listened closely to his patient's heart. The room remained silent for several minutes.

"Any weakness or would you describe it another way?"

"I wouldn't. I'd say that's an accurate description."

"I know you hate it, but I need to see what's going on, so I;ll be checking on the demonling.' "Get on with it then, the sooner you do it, the sooner I can be done." The healer began to press lightly on Ciel's belly. Seeing how much pain his mate was in, Sebastian moved to his side of the bed and took Ciel's hand.

"I'm right here love, I know it hurts. Try to relax now. " Sebastian soothed. As the healer applied pressure closer to the center of his abdomen, Ciel began to feel dizzy and sick.

"What is it Ciel, are you alright?"Sebastian asked, noticing that Ciel was beginning to look pale. Before Ciel could reply, the healer pressed in the center of his stomach and Ciel felt as if a black veil had been thrown over him, Sebastian called to him in panic but there was no fighting the darkness that swept over him and seconds later, everything was gone.


	5. Chapter 5

Ciel woke feeling weak and dizzy, his stomach still ached, he felt slightly different, but he couldn't quite explain his feeling. He opened his eyes slowly, as his vision began to focus, he could see Sebastian sitting next to the bed.

Sebastian sat silently staring straight ahead, a mixture of pain and sorrow in his eyes, if Ciel hadn't known better, he would have thought he saw tears as well.

"Sebastian?" he called weakly, catching the older demon's attention. Sebastian moved forward in his chair and began stroking Ciel's dark hair lovingly.

"I was so worried, you've been asleep for a while now, are you feeling alright?"

"I don't know, I feel different somehow. What happened?" Sebastian reached out his free hand and took hold of Ciel's.

"Do you remember me telling you that I would love you no matter what?" Ciel nodded.

"What about it?" Sebastian sighed heavily.

"I need you to listen carefully and hear me because this is important. I will always love you and I'm not upset with you, I know you tried. There's nothing you could have done differently that would have stopped it, it's not your fault at all. I-"

"What isn't?"

"You mentioned to me that you were feeling strange before, lightheaded for no reason, of that you were exhausted constantly, to the point you couldn't get out of bed. That happened because our child was a danger to you, you lost consciousness when the healer was checking you, you were bleeding internally, this happens when the demonling is positioned in a place they aren't meant to be. There's a chance it wouldn't have survived. The odds according to the healer were around forty percent that it would live. I had no choice, it was literally killing you and-" Sebastian bowed his head.

"And I couldn't lose both of you. If I had allowed it to continue, I would have lost you, I'm sorry Ciel. I love you very much, I meant what I said, it doesn't make me love you any less if you and I never have children. As long as you're here."

"I-it's gone then?" Ciel asked in shock. Sebastian nodded. Ciel felt tears forming in his own eyes.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't even let you have this." He felt Sebastian give his hand a comforting squeeze.

"You had no control over the situation. Right now, you need rest. I need you to be well. I should let the healer know you're awake, Will you be alright for a moment?" Ciel nodded, letting go of Sebastian's hand. The older demon kissed his mate;s forehead and left to bring the healer to the room.

Ciel lay in bed feeling suddenly numb, he blamed himself despite Sebastian's words.

He never wanted the child that had been growing inside him, he resented the creature and now it was gone. He had failed Sebastian. He found himself wishing he would have died to allow his mate to be a father or that Sebastian had taken his soul and avoided this pain.

He held up his left hand, the engagement ring, with the light blue gem surrounded by three small diamonds on each side, the ring Ciel cherished was now something he could no longer look at, he slid the ring off his finger and carefully placed it on the bedside table. He had no right to wear the precious stone that had been in Sebastian's family for centuries. The older demon had it made into a ring especially for Ciel, but because of his selfish behaviors, he had to question if he was ready to be a mate. Maybe Sebastian would be better off with a mate who could give him the child he wanted.

Ciel got through the examination without really hearing what the healer was saying, he found that he didn't care to know. He only wanted it to end.

"Ciel, will you please say something?" Sebastian pleaded after the healer had gone. " you haven't said a word since I told you and forgive my moment of weakness, but right now, I cannot bear the silence."

"It's not weakness to grieve the loss of a child, I've come to realize that it takes more strength to cry and feel the pain than to hold it inside. I have no tears to shed, I have nothing. How can you love something like me?"

"Ciel, please-"

"The child meant so much to you, and I couldn't give it to you, I wanted to but it's over now and I can't feel anything at all. You deserve better." Ciel said quietly.

"You shouldn't be so hard on yourself Ciel, I told you it couldn't be helped. You are my heart. Please, just-" Sebastian's pain was getting to Ciel, he knew the older demon was in need of comfort, he had never seen Sebastian cry. He did the only thing he could think of.

"Sebastian, come lie down with me." he requested quietly.

"Are you certain, I wouldn't want to-"

"The bed's big enough for both of us, you won't hurt me." Ciel assured him. Sebastian walked around the bed and laid down on his side close to Ciel, propping himself up on his elbow. The younger demon reached up and wiped away several tears from his mate's eyes before pulling Sebastian down so that his former butler's head was resting on his chest, Ciel ran his fingers through Sebastian's black hair.

"Are you sure you'll be alright this way?" Sebastian asked.

"I'm sure, we're just lying here, you're not going to hurt me by not doing anything."

"I'm sorry, I've never been this way. I nearly lost you and then-"

'Everyone has limits, you finally found yours. It's alright Sebastian. Any good father would be hurt. I love you." Ciel knew how much his mate needed to hear those three words now.

"I love you too, promise me something?"

"Depends on what." Ciel replied continuing to comfort him as best he could.

"Get well, do this for me, and I promise that I will never ask you to be a mother, I am happy to have you."

"If you don't have an heir, you can't be king, how can-"

"You're all that matters to me, it's always been you and it always will be. With or without the royal title. Never think I wold choose a crown and a piece of furniture over you...it wouldn't bother you , not being royalty?"

"Why would it, you really could have been a butler and I would still have been with you. I loved you before you told me you were the devil's son and I'll continue to." Ciel promised.

"would it be alright if we stayed this way for a while?" Sebastian whispered.

"As long as you like, I'm sorry you're so hurt and I know I'm not much of a comfort, I can barely comfort myself but if there's anything you need from me, tell me and I'll be there as much as I can be."

"You're being an amazing comfort, and all I ask right now is for the return of your health, if I lost you, I would surely die of a broken heart."

"I'll be fine, I promise." Ciel said as both demons closed their eyes . Sebastian would remain in Ciel's arms for several hours until the youmg demon required his medication and a feeding. Though Ciel was hesitant to take it, Sebastian reminded him that under the circumstances, he would have to try in order to regain his strength.

"For me?" Sebastian pleaded helping him to sit up. Ciel winced in pain but then leaned back against his mate.

"Alright Sebastian, if it means that bloody much to you, I'll try but I can't promise I can keep it down." He replied allowing Sebastian to help him drink.

"That's all I ask is that you try." Ciel sipped slowly, he had no choice, he had hurt his mate too much already.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Dear Reader, I must apologize to you for this story, though it is the original draft, as promised, it is not my favorite by any means. There is also a second draft which is very different. Ciel and Sebastian were never meant to have children in my original draft and I had no plans to make the series that I hope you've all been enjoying. I've come to love the Michaelis children I've created and found the last chapter particularly difficult to read from the pages and type onto the site. I'm glad I changed it and with this information shared with you, I shall continue. Please enjoy.

Days passed and Ciel's strength was slowly returning. He remained in bed, even after the healer had told him he was well enough to resume his normal activities. Sebastian's pain remained the same but seeing the sorrow Ciel was feeling, he would force himself to attempt to comfort his mate but would often end up lying beside him holding Ciel close. The older demon had noticed the ring on the bedside table but fearing his answer, decided to postpone the question. He was grateful that Ciel had kept his promise.

"I've been thinking," Sebastian said quietly one afternoon while rested against him. "Mother sent us the invitation for tea, perhaps a visit will ease our suffering for a short time, distraction is often helpful to ease painful thoughts. If you feel up to it, maybe we should go."

"I don't know, she likes to bring it up, how much she wants grandchildren, what could we possibly tell Ann?"

"We will tell her that we aren't ready to discuss the subject and if she continues to push us, we will tell her we cannot have children, I will tell her the problem is not you if she asks."

"why not tell her the truth, I lost the baby and it's my fault"

"That is a half truth, it was not your fault that it happened. Simply not wanting a child would not yield this kind of result."

"why do you feel like you have to shield me from so-"

"Ciel, if it's done this way she is less likely to keep bringing it up, knowing how much I wanted it to happen. I shield you because you have far too much to deal with already. I love you and would shield you from anything and everything. You are precious to me."

"How can I be though, after everything I felt toward the child, something that meant so much to you?"

"Honestly, I think some of it was fear. You're still very young and becoming a mother can be a frightening thing in itself at any age. You have a lot to deal with and I cannot blame you for your feelings. I understand, and may I ask about the ring?"

"What about it?"Ciel replied.

"What made you take it off?"

"I couldn't look at it after knowing that I hurt you so badly, I don't deserve it. There's likely millions of demons who would give you a child happily, they would want to raise it with you and-"

"Even if that was true, I chose you, I want to spend my life with you, not them."

"You wanted that child so much, how can you even want me to wear it after I took it away from you, you tell me it wasn't my fault but it was my body that-" Sebastian cut him off with a kiss.

"You didn't take the child from me, the healer explained it to me and I made the choice, Should that not tell you something?"Ciel burst into tears suddenly, clinging to Sebastian.

"It's alright, I'm here."the older demon soothed, holding him close.

"I feel like I've failed you. You should have someone who wants a family and understands what being a mate is, I want you to be happy but I don't have anything to give you."

"Do you love me?"Sebastian asked softly.

"Yes, very much."

"Then you've given me so much already. It takes a very special person to love a monster like me. My true form as you see it before you, even frightens some of our kind, I am unsightly, ghastly and yet you look upon me not only fearlessly, but with deep affection. You did your best to be a comfort to me and truly, being a mate isn't something that you just know, it's taught. You and I must teach each other how to be mates, and we do this by understanding what we need from each other. The pieces would fall into place. We need each other now more than ever, we are both going through a difficult time." Sebastian reached over and grabbed the ring in his clawed hand.

"Please, don't let this tear us apart, I need you here, I am nothing without you. You have become so much to me, my heart, my only love, the one thing I can never live without. Allow me to build a life for you. .Don't give up on us. I'm willing to postpone our marriage until you're ready, I love you that much. I will wait forever if you need me to because you are worth waiting for." Sebastian began to nuzzle Ciel gently while the young demon allowed him to slip the ring back on his finger.

Ciel loved the affection, though he wouldn't come out and say it. Sebastian had explained that nuzzling was an act that was done by demons who were truly in love.

"If done properly, both mates should be able to feel how much they are loved." he had said and Ciel did feel a tremendous amount of love come over him when Sebastian held him tight and nuzzled him, he also had a sense of safety and security in the older demon's arms.

"Whatever happens Ciel, we will get through it as long as we have each other You and I will always find a way."Sebastian whispered in his ear.

"I don't know if I feel like going anywhere, I'm so tired today."Ciel complained.

"I've seen this before, in cases of great sadness, these things happen, you are likely to have little energy and want to sleep more, the pain in your heart is too much for you and you react to it by shutting down, I understand Ciel...I feel it too. I've spoken to the healer about it for both of us and he thinks that under the circumstances, it's normal. He said the best way to deal with it is to support each other and that perhaps getting out of the house for a bit will help us. If you're not up to it, it's alright, you've been through a lot/" Ciel looked into Sebastian's eyes.

"how do you do it, manage to put me first when you were the one that felt the most pain?"

"When you love someone as much as I love you, you want to put their needs before yourself, that is what love is. It becomes as natural as a human breathing. Just as you did for me after the loss and you continue to do for me, I will always do such things for you. You are loved very deeply Ciel. Take your time in getting through all this, I'll be right here as always if you should need me." Ciel reached out, placing his palm on his mate's cheek and kissing him lovingly.

"I don't think you're ghastly at all. You might be a monster, but I love you anyway, I always will."

"You'll stay then, and keep your ring where it belongs?" Ciel nodded.

"If you still want me."

"Of course I do. I think you know that this is where we both belong, in each other's arms, we are both new to this and have already suffered greatly, it's over now. Let's start again, just you and I."

"I'd like that."Sebastian smiled faintly.

"good. Do you plan on remaining in bed today?"

"Maybe just a little longer, we'll have to leave soon if Ann's expecting us, we shouldn't keep her waiting."


	7. Chapter 7

"I'm so happy that you were able to visit dears,"Ann said lovingly, she took a sip from her teacup.

"I'm pleased to see you are feeling better Ciel. My mate and I were worried about you." She continued, setting the cup back on the table.

"Thank you." Ciel said quietly, he glanced over at Sebastian who was trying not to show his pain.

Ciel reached out and took his hand, giving it a comforting squeeze. The older demon turned to him and smiled faintly.

"The two of you are so loving, it warms my heart to see how much you two mean to each other. But I must say that you have been very quiet today, I find myself growing concerned, tell me dear ones, is everything alright?" Ann's voice was filled with concern.

"All is well Mother, there is nothing to concern yourself with." Sebastian replied. Ann stared at them in silence for a long moment.

"As long as you are sure, but do keep in mind that I will always be here for you both should you need to speak to someone about anything at all. I love you both."

"And we love you Mother, thank you. We'll be just fine."Sebastian assured her.

"Of course you will. You are your father's son after all" A long silence followed until Ann was unable to handle the stillness any longer.

"Well, Sebastian, your cousins are visiting this week and I'd love to have you introduce Ciel to them, Naveen and Victor, those two look up to you. Naveen wants to be just like you, isn't that just darling?"

Ann chuckled softly.

"If Aunt Lavina is joining them, I'd rather not subject my Ciel to the visit, even her own father had enough of her. Grandmother had to practically beg him to-"

"That's enough. She won't be coming, just the boys. You shouldn't speak of your Aunt that way Sebastian, regardless of the past, she is my sister and your Aunt, our family. She may be a bit...what's the word I'm looking for?" Ann tilted her head slightly in thought.

"She a bloody nightmare, even for me."Sebastian said raising his cup and sipping his tea.

"She's really that bad?" Ciel asked curiously. Sebastian scoffed.

"Aunt Lavina is like three Mordreds, and everyone who has ever irritated you to the point you just wanted to pick up the nearest object and beat them with it all in one. She's arrogant and rude. Honestly I have no idea how Naveen and Victor managed to turn out the way they did with a dragon for a mother."

"Sebastian Caleb Michaelis, that's enough!" Ann said sternly. Ciel turned his head to hide the amused grin.

"What do you find so amusing about my name?"Sebastian asked.

"Nothing. I'm just surprised that's all." Sebastian shook his head.

"Honestly, do I make fun of your name, after all is Ciel not a female name primarily?" Sebastian smirked.

"That's not going to bother me, I very much like my name."

"since you know mine now, what is your middle name?"The older demon asked.

"If you think you're going to make fun of it, I advise you not to, it's Vincent."

"Of course, how could I not have guessed, it is tradition for humans to give their sons their father's name. I wouldn't think of disrespecting you family Ciel. I love you far too much and I've nothing to say about your parents, they truly must have been wonderful people, you reflect that, the way you never lost your love for your family. You may have been angry and hurt but you were always there for your cousin when she needed you. You have an excellent sense of responsibility and I cannot deny that you amaze me." Sebastian leaned closer to his former master and began to nuzzle him gently,

"After all that, the two of you are still just as loving, I have never witnessed such a thing." Ann said in awe.

"It is just one of many games we play. Though my Ciel was actually amused by my full name. He knows I could never say or do anything to hurt him. He is far too precious to me."

"Lovely, what a wonderful bond I see. The two of you will be amazing parents one day." Both Sebastian and Ciel lowered their heads and Ciel tightened his grip on Sebastian's hand once again.

"Have I said something wrong?"Ann asked, her smile fading.

"I'm afraid you've touched on a subject that is very difficult to speak of. I didn't want to upset you by bringing it to your attention today. I'm not certain I can speak of it at the moment."Sebastian said quietly. Ann bowed her head.

"Please forgive me, I had no idea that my comment could hurt you so terribly."

"No Mother, you have nothing to apologize for. You had no way of knowing but I suppose no time is really the right time for this sort of announcement. Mother, I'm afraid that Ciel and I can never have a child." He turned his head in an effort to hide the pain, Ciel moved closer, leaning into his mate.

Tears formed in Ann's eyes.

"I-I'm truly sorry." She sobbed.

"I must apologize to you, you were looking forward to having grandchildren and I cannot give you that opportunity. Please forgive my failure." Ciel too felt tears forming, to see Sebastian so upset was painful for him, and Ann's sadness only added to his guilt.

"Sebastian, I appreciate you trying to protect me, but I can't let you this time." Ciel said before the Queen could reply.

"It's my fault Ann, not his. I can't ask him to shield me from this. I'm the reason he won't be a father."

"Ciel-"

"It's alright Sebastian, you've protected me enough." Ann stood from her chair and embraced her son and Ciel.

"It will be alright, I love you both very much. I would have loved to have grandchildren, but I understand, I cannot hold it against you."

"we love you too Ann." The three demons would stay that way for a long moment before Ann released them and sat back down, wiping away her tears.

"Well, let's find a lighter topic for the moment shall we dear ones?"

"It's best I think." Sebastian agreed. Ciel sat silently, he didn't feel much like talking, the pain in his heart was nearly unbearable. He couldn't trust himself to speak. How could he have hurt Sebastian so much, how could Sebastian love him, how could he look into Sebastian's eyes after what had happened for eternity? these questions tortured Ciel. So many thoughts were still running through his mind.

 _You deserve so much more. I know what you told me, but it doesn't make this easier. I wish you would realize I want you to have your family, I can see you being a great father, you should be with someone that doesn't mind having a baby, why are you torturing yourself by trying to hold onto someone like me? Why can't you give yourself the chance to have everything?_ Ciel thought sadly. He would remain silent for the duration of the visit and the long ride back to the estate he shared with Sebastian.

"Welcome home masters." Cynna greeted, Ciel didn't seem to hear him, instead, he walked wordlessly to the stairs and made his way to the bedroom. He quietly closed and locked the door. He knew Sebastian could easily break it down if he wanted to, but The older demon also know that when Ciel locked the door, it was a sign that he needed some time alone and would respect it.

Ciel laid down on his side of the bed, pulling the covers over his head and curling up on his side. He was unaware that Sebastian was now standing outside the door. He reached out as if to try to open it before pulling his hand back.

 _You've locked the door haven't you love, please don't shut me out, I know you re hurting, I wish you would let me in Ciel, I want so much to help you, I will not lose you._ Sebastian decided to give his mate some time to himself and talk with him later, but if he couldn't get him to talk about, he would have no choice but to enlist Alois to help him. Ciel was too precious to Sebastian to allow him to sink into this state. Sebastian refused to let Ciel drown in the pain he was feeling no matter what it took, he would show Ciel how much he was loved.


	8. Chapter 8

"It's not the end of the world Ciel, You ans I have had this conversation time and again. We are both upset by what happened, I've had the healer explain the situation in his own words. It was not your fault, you cannot continue this way. You've refused feedings and frankly my love, I'm afraid for you. My heart hurts as well, every bit of pain remains, I am begging you, quite literally on my knees, stop torturing yourself." Sebastian pleaded as Ciel sat before him.

The young demon had lost the child a month prior and still could not look into Sebastian's eyes. He had barely spoken a word since the visit with the queen. He would often tell Sebastian he wasn't hungry when asked, Ciel had become pale and withdrawn. Sebastian wanted to reach out and shake him, pull him from the trance he seemed to be in and wake him up.

Ciel would sometimes sit in his chair or lie in bed, his hands resting on his abdomen as he stared absentmindedly at the wall or ceiling, tears filling his eyes. This only hurt Sebastian more. He was desperate to have his Ciel back.

"I can't stop thinking." He said quietly after a long silence.

"Thinking what Love, talk to me so that I might understand."

"I feel so...empty...hollow. I've done so many things that were wrong, I was so cold, I couldn't feel-I shouldn't be here."

"Ciel, please-"

"I shouldn't, it's not right, it doesn't feel right. It should have been me. I failed. That's all I've ever done when it comes to us. You're so unhappy and Ann,-"

"You did no such thing, I love you so much, I need you here. Look at me Ciel."

"I'm useless to you, I caused you to lose so much. I-I wish you would've let me d-"Sebastian could take no more, he reached out suddenly and pulled Ciel from his chair, into his arms, holding him tight as the young demon burst into tears, clinging to his mate.

"You can never say such things, you must never think that way. I love you far too much to let you give into this, I will not allow you to drown in this sorrow that seems to have pulled you down so far that you cannot get out. I won't allow you to stay there, just promise me that you will let me help you out of it. Whatever it takes and regardless of how long, I will not give up on you."Cynna watched from mere steps away. The scene broke his heart.

"I don't know how you can ask me to be here, I don't belong in a place with so much-"

"No. This is where you belong, right here, in my arms. This is where you will always belong. I made the choice, you are everything to me. I know that you didn't give yourself time to feel the loss and this is what happened as a result, it all hit you at once, you put yourself aside for me. Forgive me Ciel, and know that you are precious to me."

"I'm sorry Sebastian. I don't know-"

"hush now Ciel, it's alright. I'm here. I'm always right here."

"I don't know how you do this, how do you love me so much after everything, I'm such a bloody mess."

"No, you've been through a lot, it isn't just the loss of the child that hurts you, everything from your life as a human also seems to be catching up to you now, you cannot hold onto it. Yes, it's alright to feel sad, but keep in mind that there are those who count on you and need you to be strong, will you try?"

"I will. I'll need help."

"Ciel, that's what a mate is for, your pain is my pain, anything you may be struggling with is something we will work out together." Ciel nodded and allowed Sebastian to lean him back in his arms so that he was looking up at the older demon.

"Sebastian?" Ciel snuggled in to his future mate.

"Yes?'

""I feel funny, kind of lightheaded and dizzy."

"Then you must try to eat. You're hungry, this is how it began with my illness and I will not allow you to go through it. Will you accept a feeding?"

"I don't really feel hungry." Ciel said quietly.

"because you're upset. Please eat."

"I suppose I should try..for you." Sebastian leaned down and began nuzzling Ciel lovingly.

"Cynna, bring the feeding glass immediately. "

"Instantly my lord." The butler replied, exiting the room quickly. Ciel remained in Sebastian's arms quietly. His guilt was getting the best of him and he knew that it was something he would never fully get over. He closed his eyes, listening to the strong, rhythmic beating of his mate's heart. The sound was soothing to the young demon. It wasn't long before Ciel drifted into a short but peaceful sleep.

"Ciel, I need you to wake up now, I know you would rather not, but it is very important that you eat before you become ill." Sebastian called gently, he ran his fingers through Ciel's dark hair.

The younger demon's eyes fluttered open and he shifted slightly in Sebastian's arms.

"It's good to see you awake once again." Sebastian greeted lovingly.

"How long was I sleeping?"

"not long, Cynna returned with the glass five minutes ago. I let you sleep for a bit, I had hoped that you would feel better when you woke."

"I'm not sure I do really. You aren't upset with me?"

"Certainly not, I'm concerned with your behavior and your words. I love you dearly and to have you feel so unhappy that you would fall into such a deep depression is a frightening thought for me, It feels as if you are worlds away from me and I cannot bring you back, I don't know how to reach you and all I can do when I do have you, is hold you and hope for the best. This is why I must ask you to trust me completely, I want you to come to me when you feel this way, you shouldn't hold it in until this happens. You and I will work through this and everything will be alright."

"I don't know if I'm strong enough for this life. I can't even cope with my own failure, I don't know what's-"

"You haven't failed. I am very proud of you. You do everything you can for me and I can't possibly expect you to handle everything on your own, not even I can do that." Sebastian handed Ciel the full glass and stroked the former Earl's hair as he drank the crimson liquid.

"I still don't know how you can stand to be near me like this, I've never been this way." Sebastian placed his hand in Ciel's, holding it up to the young demon's eye level so that he was looking directly at his ring.

"I knew when I gave this ring to you that you would need me to help you through whatever pain your past may bring. There isn't much here to distract you from it. I don't love you any less. You are my forever love. I would move Heaven and Earth for you, I will give everything I have for you, but the one thing I will never do Ciel, is give up on you.

"You didn't know when you gave it to me that I'd end up pregnant and-"

"No, I didn't. What I did know that day was that if I allowed you to walk away from me, and I didn't tell you, I would lose you forever, and of all the mistakes I've made, that was not one I was willing to experience. I've told you this many times, but I will continue to until it sinks in, I love you no matter what. What happened to our demonling was not your fault and there is nothing you could ever do to make me stop loving you. Do you understand?"

"Yes." Ciel said taking another sip from his glass.

"Good, now, tell me what I can do to make you feel better in the moment, you and I will continue to work through your grief for as long as it takes. I promise you that I will always be patient and do the best I can to understand."

"Could you just hold me for a while?"

"my dearest treasure, I will hold you for eternity if only you'll let me. Promise me that you will come to me when you're feeling this way and allow me to help you, no matter what I'm doing at the moment, you are more important, don't try to keep it to yourself because you don't want to upset me. I'd be devastated if you felt like this and acted on your wish. Promise that you will stay with me always and forever. You see my dear one, I have lost family and friends, I was saddened by the loss, sometimes angry. Should you leave me in that way, I would not have the strength to continue. You must never go where I cannot follow." Sebastian said quietly. He nuzzled Ciel gently.

Ciel had heard his deep pain echoed in Sebastian's plea and could think of only two words to say to the one who taught him what it felt like to be loved so deeply and unconditionally.

"I promise."


	9. Chapter 9

A/N sorry, I'm slowly finding more of the pages, I'll attempt to update faster.

"You're ready for this then?" Sebastian asked.

"No, but what choice do I have?" the young earl replied as they stood in the throne room awaiting Sebastian's parents. Sebastian sighed.

"I won't force this on you, if it's too soon, They will understand, my father isn't as-"

"why are we doing this, do we really need to?"Sebastian held him close.

"We don't have to, no. however, when I become king, I think it would sound much better if I said 'this is my mate' rather than 'this is Ciel...I love him but he refuses to bond with me because I nearly killed him.' don't you?"

"I'm not refusing because- you know why I don't think it's a good idea, and you didn't nearly kill me." Ciel grumbled.

"What would you call it then?" Before Ciel could answer, the King and Queen entered. The devil looked at them for a moment before speaking.

"My son, Ciel, I have heard of your situation and it pains me. I realize it is a difficult subject and so will say no more."

"Thank you Father, we appreciate your understanding." the king moved closer to the pair.

"Tell me, what can I do?"

"We've been thinking about our bonding and in light of our circumstances, we feel that a privet ceremony would be best, I know that tradition calls for an extravagant event but surely you can imagine the topic among the guests."

"Yes, I can see your concern, were you thinking of inviting any guests?"

"Only you and Mother, we were hoping that you would be so kind as to make it official." The devil smiled, revealing rows of sharp pointed fangs.

"I would be honored to do so, I never thought that I would have such a chance, your brother chose differently, as you know."

"Yes, Mordred knew you wouldn't approve of the choice and so cut you out completely. That is simply the way he is. Ciel and I however know just how important it is to you to attend one of your sons' weddings." Sebastian said receiving a hug from the devil.

"Have you set a date?" Ann asked smiling. Sebastian looked to Ciel.

"Go on, I know you want to."Ciel said.

"Only if you want to, I don't want to make you feel rushed."The older demon nuzzled his mate lovingly, causing him to smile.

"It's alright, I'm ready, I just don't want you to be stuck with someone who can't-" Sebastian silenced him with a kiss.

"I wouldn't call spending your life with the one you love being 'stuck' You are my heart and always will be, the announcement can be made later. I believe we should bond as soon as possible."

"Do you have all you need with you my son?" Sebastian reached into his pocket, pulling out a small box.

"I do. The bands are here, we were hoping that-"

"Wonderful, come, stand before us. Are you ready?" Sebastian again turned to his mate.

"No time like the present I suppose. " Ciel said as the devil ushered them closer to the thrones.

"Has he ever done this before, he seems rather excited." Ciel whispered as the two turned to face each other.

"One part of the tradition as far as the royal family goes is that the king officiates his children's ceremony, something that my father was looking forward to since Mordred was born. " Sebastian explained.

"Now then, you stand in front of us today to pledge your eternal lives to each other, through good and bad times. When life seems its darkest, you will be each other's light. You will make a promise this day that will last for all eternity. Is there anything you wish to say that is to be included in your vow?" The deep voice asked.

"Yes, my beautiful Ciel, my dearest treasure, you and I have been through many struggles together and they have only strengthened our love, today, before my family, I swear to give my love to you regardless of the hardships that have or may face in the future, you will have my undivided loyalty and undying love. I will care for you, and remain by your side always. You are giving me a great gift today in becoming my mate. I love you more than words can say."

"That was beautiful Sebastian, truly lovely." Ann sniffled, moved to tears by her son's love for his mate.

"Ciel, dear, is there something you want to say?" Ciel found himself feeling slightly embarrassed.

"I didn't actually have anything planned and I'm not really sure what to say." He confessed.

"Anything you like."

"Anything at all?"

"That's right." Ciel thought for a moment.

"I suppose I should start with...Thank you. All the things I put you through during our contract, you were incredible. I always feel safe with you, I know that no matter what happens, you'll always be with me and it means more to me than you know. Thank you for the unconditional love I've found in you. You try so hard to make me happy and be patient with me. I don't make it easy for you but I do love you, I don't always act like it, but I do. The truth is...I'd be lost without you and I promise that I'll try to be everything a mate should be because- because that's what you deserve. I just hope that I can be everything you need me to be." Sebastian reached out, placing his hand on Ciel's cheek, caressing it softly.

"You already are everything I could ever want." He said lovingly. The couple gazed into each other's eyes, lost in the moment. The devil cleared his throat, bringing them back to reality.

"Sebastian my son, do you swear, with your mother and myself as witnesses that you will be forever faithful, loyal and keep Ciel's best interest in mind at all times, to trust in him and give him all he needs?"

"I swear it." Sebastian replied. He slipped the golden band onto Ciel's finger, handing him the second one.

"Ciel, do you swear to meet the same conditions?"

"I swear." Ciel replied pushing the ring onto Sebastian's finger.

"Excellent, it is with great joy that I say to you now, you are bonded together and I sincerely hope that this bond will only grow, binding your hearts to each other, may your love grow stronger each day, you have my blessing as the king and more importantly as your father. You may share your first kiss as mates." No sooner had the devil said this, Sebastian wrapped his arms around Ciel, lifting him up and kissing him. Ciel returned the kiss, placing his palm on his mate's cheeks as the older demon deepened the kiss. When finally Sebastian released his mate, the king and queen were overjoyed. The king motioned to Tani.

"Yes, majesty?" She asked bowing.

"Bring in the chest." with another bow, she disappeared.

"What's the chest for?" Ciel asked

"It seems that we are to be given a wedding gift."

"Hush, do not ruin the surprise Sebastian." The deep voice growled. It would take only moments for her to return and hand the required object to the devil.

"Ciel Michaelis, today you have officially joined our family, we welcome you with open arms, on this day, the seventeenth of April, I offer you a wedding gift, the right to one day sit at my son's side when the throne is passed to him, therefore, I give you the keys to my kingdom and recognize you as crowned prince and the one who will rule at Sebastian's side." He opened the chest and produced a silver crown blue and red gems were strategically placed around the outside.

"Will you Ciel Michaelis, swear to uphold the standards that shall be taught to you and to rule along side Sebastian, support him and should he for whatever reason be unable to do his duty as king, will you step into the role yourself?"

"I-" He looked at Sebastian, he loved his mate but the throne meant nothing to him.

"Only a formality, I promise you." Sebastian assured him. Ciel sighed.

"I swear." He said finally, Sebastian pulled him close.

"I'm very proud of you." he said kissing the younger demon's forehead.

"Then this belongs to you, wear it with pride young one. Come, I have something to show you now. Rhiannon my heart, will you join us in our visit to the gate keeper?"

"What's the gate keeper, Mordred said something about giving me to it."

"the gate keeper is the one who chooses where you go upon entering hell. He and the royal family have the power to either send the souls to the part of hell humans fear or to make them demons, you wouldn't want to pass through his gate." Sebastian explained as the king called for his carriage and they made their way out of the castle and began their journey.


	10. Chapter 10

Ciel stepped out of the carriage and looked around. The surrounding area was like nothing he had seen before, he couldn't possibly have imagined it in his strangest dream. He noticed a large door which seemed to glow softly and the faint sound of screams emitted from it. He looked to Sebastian.

"What is this place?"He moved closer to his mate.

"Fear not my love, This is the Gate Keeper's territory. When humans souls are collected and brought to Hell, they come here, you'll notice that endless line up there, We'll be moving closer inn just a moment, but it's the line of judgment, You are either given life as a demon, or you're sent to eternal punishment which is different for everyone, and for some it's simply being in an eternal line. You can't even begin to imagine how torturous that can be."

"Come my family, I shall show you everything." The king said motioning for them to follow. Sebastian and Ciel followed close behind the king and queen.

"Centuries ago, it was the job of the king to judge a soul and find the proper placement for them. A most tiring job in deed if I do say so myself." The devil chuckled in his deep voice.

"My great grandfather often said that it was quite possibly one of the worst tasks he could think of. As king there are many unpleasant chores to be done. Any questions so far Ciel?"

"What exactly is the Gate Keeper, you told me what it does but-"

"No one truly knows, he hides in the shadows, you only ever hear his voice. It was my father that claimed to be the only one to ever see it, he refused to describe it, claiming it too terrible even for his eyes to behold. My Mother however never believed him and still doesn't to this day."

"What are your thoughts on it then?" Ciel pressed much to the king's delight.

"It is refreshing to see the younger generation show such interest. I had, before your arrival lost hope in the young ones. Thank you. I understand you play chess?" The king asked with a great deal of interest.

"That's right."Ciel replied, the King grinned showing off his rows of razor teeth.

"Tell me, would you perhaps like to play sometime, we could get to know each other a bit better. From what you have showed me, I have such high hopes for you Ciel Michaelis, you having once been human and now given the crown have much to prove to our kind. I have no doubt that you will make the royal family proud and prove that our Sebastian has chosen well." Ann turned her head to give Ciel an encouraging smile.

"Don't worry dear, that just means that my mate likes you quite a bit, it is a high honor to be invited to know the king on such a personal level." She explained. Ciel followed them closer to the doors where he could now see the endless line of people waiting He could see the fear in many of the faces. Many trembled in their place, unaware of the date awaiting them.

"The only one with the power to overturn the Gate Keeper's decision is our family. We alone have the ability to pardon a soul from the horrors contained within that door. Ciel, as of today you too share this power and once it is announced that Sebastian has taken a mate, you must understand that it is entirely possible that you will be receiving requests that must be responded to. You can deny or accept them based on the information that will be passed to you and will be doing a great service to our subjects."

"I don't know if I'm ready for all that, I've only just-"

"Sebastian will help you, you will need to learn to work together as mates to make difficult choices. This is only a small part of what is expected of you as mate to a prince of hell." The king explained.

"Father, I require nothing more from Ciel as my mate than to be who he is, I cannot place all this responsibility on his shoulders so quickly. He and I will need to learn to talk about difficult situations and work through them a bit more than we do now. This is largely my doing. I don't wish to burden my treasure with everything I must do. Thought I learned from you and Mother as I grew into the demon I am today, I cannot simply throw him into the tasks we have taken years to understand. As Mordred and I were given clear instruction and our paths in life were well defined by your teachings, my Ciel did not have such an advantage."Sebastian replied, Ciel was grateful to him for stepping in.

"Very good my son, you made it a point to guard him and as for fair treatment as well as defending your position in your bondage." The devil praised.

"Marriage, Father, I've explained this, Ciel is not my prisoner in anyway. Should he ever feel this way. I will have failed him and be undeserving of holding the title of his mate." Ciel took hold of Sebastian's hand, leaning his head against his arm. Sebastian looked at his mate with concern.

"Are you alright?" He asked, Ciel smiled faintly.

"Fine, I'm just...I'm happy to have you, that's all."the young demon replied. Despite having second thoughts about the marriage to his former butler, Ciel felt lucky to have such a love as the one he felt from Sebastian. Before he realized it, they were standing directly beside the souls and could hear a voice coming from somewhere close by. The speaker called out names, laughing as he did so, unnerving Ciel. He himself had caused suffering in his life but he never found humor in the pain felt by others.

"I don't understand, what's so funny about what he's doing?" Ciel asked tightening his grip on his mate.

'nothing at all. The Gate Keeper is...a bit off. I myself don't care for it."The older demon admitted. "Stay close to me dear one and I will make sure it does not bother you."

"It's already bothering me." Ciel replied.

"Barnabas Rupert Goodwin, step forward." The giggling voice called. Ciel watched as a tall figure stepped out of line and walked toward the door.

"What's happening?" Ciel asked watching the man stand in front of the door.

"Judgment is about to be passed on this soul, this is the way of the gate keeper." Sebastian explained, kneeling down and allowing Ciel to lean against him.

"Yes...Mr. Barnabas Rupert Goodwin, born September eighteenth 1809 died May twenty-third 1895, age eighty-six. Killed in a fire which you started in your place of business to collect benefits from the loss... this is easy enough, you are far to old to be a demon and much too wrinkled to be dinner. I'm afraid I prefer meals that have not yet passed their prime." The voice howled with laughter. The door opened slowly before the man and flames were now visible.

"I'm afraid you'll have to step inside, but don't worry, we have some just lovely accommodations for you, I'm sure you'll find your eternal torment an absolute scream." Another burst of laughter reached Ciel's ears. It took a moment for the voice to call out again.

"Father, I realize that Ciel must learn these things,however as I mentioned this is quite a lot to take in." Sebastian said noticing how much the situation bothered Ciel.

"Of course, if you need to take your new mate home, we can resume another time." The king said.

"Come Ciel, let us go home and take our minds off of the experience." Ciel nodded and the two began their walk back to the carriage.

"Let's see who we have here..." Ciel heard the voice chuckle as they walked. "Ah yes...the reaper warned me about this lot, step forth Mr. Tanaka, and bring your part with you."


	11. Chapter 11

Ciel and Sebastian stopped instantly upon hearing the name called.

"There must be hundreds of people out there with the name Tanaka, it can't be my Tanaka." Ciel thought out loud without turning around.

'"Unfortunately, there is a possibility that it could be and that party could-"

"Don't say it Sebastian. It can't be right, after everything they went through, they can't-"

"What do we do now?" the familiar, trembling voice asked. Ciel recognized the sound belonging to his gardener Finny and spun around to see.

"Nothin' it's over mate." Bard said placing a hand on his shoulder.

"I deserve to be here, not any of you, no you don't. If the young master could see us, he would be so disappointed in us." Mey-Rin lamented.

"Courage now, the young master would expect us to be brave, even in the face of death. I think he would be pleased to know that we all arrived together and we took our consequences without fear. Nothing less can be expected of the Phantomhive staff." Tanaka said sternly.

"I miss the young Master and Sebastian, they were always so good to us, I feel like I failed them in someway." Finny said.

"Tanaka, Mey-Rin, Bard and Finny, former servants to the house of Phantomhive, I was given a request by the reaper who collected your souls to keep you all together, causes of death range from carriage accident, natural causes and Tuberculosis. All arrived today with minutes of each other." The voice said gleefully.

"I can see no other fitting punishment..."

"Ciel, what are you doing?" Sebastian asked as his mate left his side.

"Getting my staff, I'm not letting them go in there." Ciel called over his shoulder. Sebastian quickly changed into his butler form and followed.

"The four of you will-"

"Be returned to me." Ciel said loudly causing the group to turn to him, a look of complete shock on their faces.

"Y-Young Master?" Finny asked in disbelief. "Is it really you?"

"Yes Finny, I want the four of you to come with me. Gate Keeper, I'll take them from here."

"This has to be some kinda trick," Bard said. " The young Master doesn't belong in a place like this."

"It's a long story, but right now, we need to focus on what's happening. I want you all to come work for me again, you won't have to be separated, and it will be like before in someways."

"In order to do this however, you must become demons and live among them, and you must understand that things have and will need to be changed." Sebastian said joining the group.

"Sebastian!" The younger servants cried, happy to see him again.

"Welcome everyone, it's nice to see you all again, I never thought I would be saying that. Tanaka." Sebastian nodded politely to the old man.

The Phantomhive staff moved closer to them stepping out of the line.

"Good, the first thing you must know is that Ciel and I have quite a different life here. He is no longer my master, he is my mate and I-"

"Your mate?" The group looked at him in confusion, Sebastian sighed.

"Yes, it means that Ciel and I have gotten married, just about an hour ago actually. You will be expected to take on your usual responsibilities in the home I share with Ciel. If you accept this, please follow me and I will show you what needs to happen next." He turned to leave.

"Sorry, but you married the young Master?" Bard asked before the others could recover from their shock.

"Yes. If that bothers you, I'm sure we could find you another employer." Sebastian offered.

"No, it's just- is that legal, I'm mean the Master's just a-"

"I might look thirteen, but if I was still alive, I would nineteen, there for I'm of age and yes it is legal, things are different down here. Sebastian wouldn't force me into anything if that's what you're worried about." Ciel explained.

"are there any further concerns?" Sebastian asked.

"No, long as The Young Master's fine with it and happy." Ciel gave a faint smile.

"I am happy." He said.

"Then we're happy too." Finny added. They said goodbye to Sebastian's parents and made their way to the carriage. The group traveled in silence for a while, the staff grinning.

"Thank you for offering us our jobs, we haven't always been the most competent bunch and it means a lot to us that you would invite us back into your home." Tanaka said.

"naturally my Ciel would want to have you back, life has been...quiet shall we say. I should warn all of you that Cynna, my butler will be-"

"You have a butler of your own, what's he like?" Bard asked nervously.

"Do you recall the way I was?" Sebastian watched the group nod.

"He can be worse. I learned nearly everything about being a butler from him. I suggest you be on your very best behavior." Sebastian warned. "Also, do try to remember that yes, Ciel is my mate which by our law gives him half ownership of everything in our home however it also belongs to me and there are certain objects I will not tolerate being broken, they are priceless and irreplaceable. I suggest handling everything with care." He said making it a point to look at Mey-Rin as he spoke.

"Then have Cynna clean those, you know how my staff are, just avoid it from the start. " Ciel suggested. "Since the four of you have had a difficult day, and I've had a long day myself, I can have Cynna show you to your rooms and explain a few things to you and you can start your jobs in the morning."

"Thank you Young Master." they said in unison.

"It's still hard to believe we're gone."Finny bowed his head.

"I'm sorry, if I had been more careful on my way to get the doctor-" Mey-Rin began.

"It's alright, you gave it a good try, we don't blame you, right Finny?"Bard comforted.

"Right, you were the one looking after us, we're grateful to you." the gardener added. \\\

"We should be thankful that we are still together and take comfort in that. We no longer suffer. It is those we left behind that we should think of now, for they are the ones in pain now." Tanaka said.

"Lady Elizabeth."they said together with heads bowed in sadness.

"What about Lizzy?"Ciel questioned.

"She would come around a lot after your departure, she misses you terribly. She would have a gathering at the house with your friends in your memory each year. She insists on wearing your blue ring, she says that when she looks down at her hand, it reminds her of you." Ciel sighed.

"Elizabeth hated that ring." he said quietly, Sebastian reached over and took his hand.

"But she loved you. That ring was always with you." The older demon pulled him closer.

"It hardly seems fair, here we are together, which means that she''s all alone now." Sebastian kissed the top of Ciel's head.

"She will be alright Ciel. Time makes it easier it seems. She will never forget you, nor will you forget her, but in time she will move on with your memory in her heart."

"Yes, I suppose so. It would be nice to know that she's alright, I-"

"In a week's time, my father has that important meeting, there are gateways throughout London, I was going to ask you to join me, it's important that mates are seen together when it comes to royalty. I think we could find a way to check up on her from a distance my love. Is that something you would want to do, knowing that you could have no interactions with her?"Sebastian asked.

"Yes. It would mean a lot to me." The carriage stopped and the staff was instructed to step out and wait for Ciel and Sebastian at the door, leaving Ciel and Sebastian inside the carriage alone, Ciel got up, standing in front of his mate who wrapped his arms around him.

"Thank you." Ciel said placing his palm on Sebastian's cheek. I know you didn't particularly want to have them around forever." The older demon leaned forward, resting his forehead against Ciel's.

"You have been so unhappy for far too long, if they ease this suffering somehow, even just a touch, it's worth it. I will do anything for you my darling Ciel, just say the word and it will be done." he said softly.

"Won't they bother you though, I'm not the only one who feels unhappy. You've still been feeling the loss. I know you-"

"It's true, but I still have you, it will take time, perhaps with this change, it will get better for both of us. Tell me, what made you say those things in my father's castle, did you feel obligated to go through with the ceremony?"

"No. I wanted you to have the chance to find someone to give you your child, if we weren't married it wouldn't be looked upon as unacceptable because you wouldn't be stuck with me in case you found that you loved the mother. After everything I've done to you, not just since I've been here but in our contract days, I just want you to have some kind of-" Ciel was cut off by Sebastian pressing his lips to his. Ciel allowed him to deepen the kiss.

"Married or not, I could never walk away from you. My heart belongs only to you Ciel, no one else could ever give me a family and I would want only you at my side for the rest of my life." Sebastian said after they parted.

"That's a really long time to be with someone isn't it, and not have the family you wanted."

"But I do. You're right here in front of me, I could never ask for anything more. Demons live such a long time and if you were not here to share my eternity, my existence would be meaningless, my life would be empty, you fill my heart with so much love and happiness Ciel Michaelis. I hope that in time, you can allow me to do the same."

"That's so sweet, yes it is. Sebastian loves the young master so much!" Ciel and Sebastian pulled away from each other at the sound of Mey-Rin's voice. The maid was standing just outside with Bard, Tanaka and Finny beside her. Ciel's face began to turn red.

"Were you not told to wait at the door for us, when I come out there-" The older demon said causing the maid, gardener and cook to let our a shriek of fear and rush for the house in front of them. Ciel smiled. He felt right at home.


End file.
